Lies My Parents Told Me

One Christmas when we were little girls, my parents gave us each our own Cabbage Patch Kid. This is when they were all the rage and our family didn't have much money. It was a huge treat. Amy had Molly, Jenny had Denny, and I had Coleen. They had pretty dresses and we each got a little basket to lay them in. We loved our baby girls throughout our whole childhoods. Several years later, when Amy was married, Jenny was in college, and I was in high school, it was revealed to us by our parents that these sweet girl Cabbage Patch Kids we'd lovingly raised all our loves were, in fact, boys. That was all our parents could get at the time, but they wanted us to have girl dollies, so they threw out the boy clothes and got girl clothes and doctored the birth certificates. Molly was actually Olly, my Coleen was actually Cole, and Denny... well that was the same (although as an interesting side effect we all grew up thinking Denny was a girls name and would think it funny if we met a guy with the name). We were outraged! Our parents had been lying to us for years! What a deception. I would certainly NEVER do that to my kids!!

Fast forward another decade and I have my own little girls. Lydia is now 2.5 years old. She's used a pacifier all her life and although we've tried to take it away a few times, we've never been successful (after like an hour of crying at nighttime I'd finally give in and give her the paci). Anyway she had her first dentist appointment on Wednesday where the dentist told me that there was an indentation on the back of her teeth from the paci. The good news is that it corrects itself as soon as the paci is no longer in use. The dentist told me that she sometimes helps kids by asking them to give their pacies away and that there is a lot to the symbolic act of them actually giving the paci away. I asked her to give it a shot so she spoke to Lydia and said "you know what Lydia? I have a lot of little babies that are very sad. They need pacies. Do you think you could give them your pacies so they can be happy?" Lydia: "yeah. And then I'll get new ones?" Dentist: "No, because you're such a big girl and don't need a paci anymore." Lydia: "yeah, cause I'm a big girl!"

So that afternoon we get home and I ask Lydia if she wants to collect her pacies and give them to the dentist to give to her babies. I ask if she wants to give them straight to the dentist or mail them. She gets very excited about mailing them. I got out a ziplock bag and gave it to her, and we went around finding all her pacies. Then we drove to the post office, stood in line, and when it was our turn went up to the desk. I held Lydia up and told the Postal Worker that we wanted to mail the pacies to the little babies. Lydia: "because they are sad". Postal Worker: "Oh they will be so happy! How nice of you!". Then the lady placed them behind the counter. I explained to Lydia that the lady would put the pacies in the dentist's mail box, where the dentist would pick them up and hand them out to the little babies and they wouldn't be sad anymore. Later Jamie took her out to buy her a stuffed animal that she could cuddle at night when she missed her paci. That night Lydia went to bed without any fuss. Same with last night and tonight. Mission accomplished.

All we had to do was elaborately deceive our two year old daughter. Oh the lies, the lies! When will they end?

Becoming, part 2

Jenny thought I should save this title for Obama's re-election in four years, which I admit is a good idea. But I decided to use it now anyway for a different purpose. Anyway I may have gone through all the titles by then and be on round two (or move on to a different show to steal my titles from).

Anyway, this time I refer to "Becoming" as becoming a homebirth midwife's intern. I started about two weeks ago I guess. Its pretty cool, she lets me take blood pressure and palpate the belly, and listen to the heartbeat with a fetascope. She's also paying for me to take a neonatal resuscitation and adult CPR course, which are never bad skills to have. Anyway I've been attending a few prenatals with her to see how this works out. I'll be attending births with her as well in February. Basically right now I'm trying to figure out if this is actually doable with having two little kids. So far it has been, but its also stressful. Finding childcare is a constant worry,even though its just for Lydia since I've been taking Juliet with me. I've also just never felt this busy. Even though its exciting, I have a new appreciation for the fact that I have the luxury of staying home with my kids rather than having to get a job. We'll see how it goes after I start doing births--whether it seems like too much or not.

I think the being busy also has to do with us joining the YMCA a few months ago. I LOVE going! It feels so good to get regular exercise. When I first went I was totally intimidated, especially about weight lifting. But now I have a plan, and actually really enjoy the weightlifting. I also go to a Yoga class when I can, which is always great. Today I got to go, and it was so neat to see how much further I could stretch a pose than the last time I went. I would really like to make this an integral part of my life--something I always do, not just for a few month and then quit. I did a lot of different sports in highschool, and then after graduation I pretty much stopped. Everything. I'd forgotten how good it feels to be active! (and by active I don't mean chasing after a baby all day long making sure she doesn't choke on whatever crap she just put in her mouth). And I'm hoping that this regular exercise might help inspire me to adjust my eating habits. Right now I eat sugar and fat like they are going out of style, and miraculously I am not paying for it yet. But I know this will not always be the case so I'd love to change those habits before I find myself as fat as the demon Balthazar...

Becoming, part 1

Today I am soaring. Because we the American people just inaugurated the first black president of the United States. And because now Barack Hussein Obama is my president.

It is only in the past year or two that I have begun to be interested in politics. It started with the West Wing. After seven seasons of caring deeply what happened to the fate of the country and politicians in a TV show, it occurred to me that these same topics are being debated and decided in my real, true life. Um, why would I care so much about Leo McGarry and C.J. Cregg and not even know the name of the real Chief of Staff and Press Secretary? Why was I so mad if a law didn't pass the Senate in the show, when I barely know what legislation is ever introduced in the real Senate? Well, thats changed. And I managed to discover this just in time for the most monumentous election in my lifetime. It has been so exciting, so inspiring. During the campaign I would engage in heated political debates with my fellow cloth-diapering mamas (you have no idea how opinionated we can be!). I sought to learn as much about the candidates and issues as I could. I proudly donned my "Obama Mama" shirt at every opportunity. I've written to congressmen about issues I care about. I've called people to get out the vote. And I VOTED. For the first time. And I am honored that the first vote I ever cast was for this man. I do not think he is the Messiah, or Superman, but he gives me Hope. He inspires me. And I believe he is what we need.

So now, after watching Barack Obama become the 44th President of the United States, I am so grateful that I was "awake" to experience this. I will never, ever forget it. And I look forward to the coming years, because I do believe that things can change for the better.

Normal Again

The holiday season is over. Our Christmas tree is boxed up (it was fake), the Christmas cookies are all eaten (they were yummy), "Christmas-Father" has left the mall (Lydia's name for Santa), and 104.7 The Fish is back to simply being safe for the whole family, rather than putting Christ back in Christmas (which they actually didn't say so much this year. Maybe they finally realized that Winter Wonderland and Santa Clause is Coming to Town, while being sung by Christians, still has nothing to do with Christ). Most importantly, I do not have to worry about hearing Christmas Shoes again for another 11 months. Seriously that song makes me want to carve out my ears. My sadistic sister enjoyed my pain and would purposely call me up if it played on her radio so that I would get it in my head. I desperately took to singing Its a Small World After All defensively when in danger of hearing Christmas Shoes. Revolting but effective.

Anyway everything is back to normal here, with the addition of new toys for all. I'm loving my Rock Band World Tour. Jamie loves his wireless internet. Lydia loves her princess castle and Big Wheel. Juliet...well she's got a lot of new things to suck on. Surely those other toys were losing some of their flavor. Of course her favorite things to chew on are the things she's not supposed to...plastic bags, Lydia's princess castle, other babies, etc...

All in all, good holiday, but also good to be back to our normal routine of playgroups, YMCA, library, and saving the world from nerds.

Fear, Itself

Well we started the new year with a bang, or more accurately, a bleche. Lydia vomited about 5 minutes after midnight. I was really really hoping that it was just because she ate some much junk food, but then she did it again around 3:30, and then Juliet kinda had an episode of spitting up/throwing up around 4:30. Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep. Lydia has not vomited today, but she has a fever and has been acting very lethargic.

A stomach virus.

My worst fear.

I know its totally irrational, but I have an insane fear of stomach bugs and throwing up. I will go to great lengths to avoid it. I'd rather break my arm than go through a bad stomach virus. The thing is, I know in my head that its not a big deal. 24 hours of feeling miserable, and then its over. Not serious. But I HATE it, and worry worry worry. So right now, I'm in this cloud of fear and anxiety that makes me feel sick even though I haven't caught it yet. Just knowing I was exposed horrifies me. And taking care of Lydia, well, I'm caught between the instinct to cuddle her and make her feel better and the revulsion of exposing myself more and more to those germs and sealing my own fate. It shames me to be this way. And the thing is, it probably wouldn't be NEARLY as bad if I didn't fear it so much. Jamie is not afraid of being sick, and when he gets sick he deals well with it. I twist my insides around just fearing getting sick, and then bask in self-pity and misery when I succumb.

The fear is my enemy. But I don't know how to defeat it. I wish it would just manifest itself as a tiny demon I could step on.

Anyway, Happy New Year to you!